Life on the Crazy Train

Merry Christmas 2011!

2011-12-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

Greetings, Friends and Loved Ones!

Given the excitement of the last several years, we decided to take our time in 2011 and really savor life.

We started the year in Manhattan, Lyric and I were surviving our Manhattan winter, relying on the kindness of less-pregnant women as Carlos was deep in crunch-time, finishing off the AAA video game: Homefront. The game was released and Carlos given plenty of time off just in time for the arrival of our second daughter, Story Jane on April 6th. Story Jane was born quickly and joyfully in a birthing center in Manhattan.

It just so happened, that Granpa Mike and Grandma Debbie Curran had arrived in town that very day and got to see their little grand baby fresh from the oven. It was a great blessing to have them with us.

Then, even more big news: at Story’s four week check-up it was found that there was something wrong with her eyes and Christin was sent directly to a pediatric ophthalmologist, revealing our tiny baby had cataracts in both of her eyes. Several visits to specialists and tense days followed revealed that, yes, she did have to have cataract surgery at six weeks of age, but that with the aid of contact lenses, vision therapy, and future surgeries, Story’s vision would develop.

We don’t know how well she will see when all is said and done, but she is, at eight months old, a big flirt, and loves to laugh at the antics of her big sister. I am confident that Story’s vision will be good enough for a full, normal life, though perhaps she will never be a fighter pilot. Either way, we are very grateful for all your prayers, for her current progress, and modern technology. Some of the techniques to help Story were only developed in the last few years.

By video game standards, Homefront was a hit, and work began on sequel before it even shipped. So, naturally, THQ decided to shut down KAOS Studios. Fortunately the game’s release brought many recruiters looking for someone as skilled and experienced as Carlos. He took a job with Havok, an Emmy-winning company that creates technology for movies, video games, and simulations. It was not long before we were leaving our Most Beloved New York City, and getting on a plane to San Francisco.

After spending a month in corporate housing, we ended up finding a big, sunny apartment in the famous Haight/Ashbury neighborhood. “Colorful” is an accurate word to describe it, full of old and new hippies and all that goes along with them. “The Haight” is situated midway between downtown (Carlos bikes to work with an army of other commuters along ‘the wiggle’) and Ocean Beach, and within walking distance of Golden Gate Park (similar to NYC’s Central Park), museums, gardens, and playgrounds (absolutely essential).

This year we began our homeschool journey with Lyric. We joined a homeschooling meet up and have been busy going on field trips and play dates with some of the Bay Area’s other young homeschoolers. Lyric loves to tell people she is homeschooled and is quite the bibliophile and is doing very well in her beginning reading. Extreme extrovert that she is, she makes friends wherever she goes, loves to entertain the masses, wakes up with a song in her heart and a dance in her feet. Needless to say, mom goes to bed tired every night.

The best word to describe our sweet Story Jane is “jovial”. Her ready smile melts hearts wherever she goes, and her calm, understated sweetness is the perfect juxtaposition to Lyric’s spicy fire. Carlos has finally figured out how to make her laugh until she screams (happily).

As for me, I’ve been busy mom-ing it up, making great (according to Carlos) dinners with this fresh California produce, strumming the ukulele, and I’ve even dusted off my novel manuscript… who knows? Maybe this will be the year I finish….

We’re just starting to settle (as much as we ever do) in San Francisco. Carlos’ new co-workers are great, and he never has to work over-time. We’ve found a great group of believers at Ikon Christian Community (which recently got a write-up in the New York Times about being a ‘hiptster’ friendly place). They have been very welcoming, especially to the first two regularly attending people under 21.

Lastly, in November, we got to bring both kids out of the country for the first time. We had the joy of celebrating the wedding of Christin’s sister, Caitlin, to a wonderful man, Victor Salas, in Xalapa, Mexico. We wish them much joy, and we know they will be great together.

As usual, there is no end to our adventure. We look forward to a quiet Christmas and New Year’s Eve, which we will probably spend at the beach.

Much love, joy, and peace to you, “for unto us, a Child is born.”

Carlos, Christin, Lyric, and Story Jane Curran

Looks like I am moving to America

2011-06-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

The Crazy Train is leaving the station June 30th. Next Stop: San Francisco.

I have been singing that theme song to "The O.C.", 'California' by Phantom Planet, for two weeks now.

So we're moving again. So we're moving again! Nothing like three cross-country moves in less than four years! This time we're heading out to the *other* coast. I never thought I would be a California girl! (Then again, I never thought I would call myself a New Yorker, either.)

I never loved living in a place like I have loved living in New York--It makes one feel as if they are really alive. But as wonderful and magical as this place can be (and let me tell you, Central Park is magical!)

New York can also drain the life slowly out of a person. The work/life balance is difficult (impossible??) to achieve here. I know too many moms who function as if single-moms, and I don't know anyone else who does not have a baby-sitter or nanny (or cleaning person) to help them out. After nine months of Carlos working crunch time (i.e. we can work you in to the ground but not pay any over time) and the AAA game he was working on being released and selling more than 2.6 million units, of *course* the company decides to close the studio. Which is fine. We see better times ahead.

New York City, we will miss you. But we are excited to see what lies behind door #3.

(Plus, I plan on learning to surf!)

Contact Lenses, Baby

2011-06-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

About a week-and-a-half ago my nine-week-old daughter got contact lenses and could see for the first time. Getting the right prescription was difficult as her eyes, searching for something to see other than a bright blur, were quickly ranging back and forth. The doctors did what they could to figure it out and ordered her lenses. With the lenses in, her eyes stopped bouncing around like pinballs and the doctors were able to get a more accurate measurement of her prescription, and to order new lenses that would over-correct it, making her able to see things up-close, like her mommy's smiling face as I hold her.

Even the optometrist, who specializes in pediatric optometry, had a bit of a time getting the tiny lenses into my daughter's even tinier eyes. I was having a hard enough time getting drops in her eyes, and the thought of putting contacts in while she scrunched them shut tight, crying, was a daunting one. Carlos gave it a whirl ending with poor baby Story screaming hysterically, like nothing I have ever seen before. It took everything in my brain to overcome my instinct to take my baby, who sounded like she was having her skin peeled off, and run far, far away with her. I was still shaking a bit from whatever mommy-endorphins were released, hours later.

Today, a few days after that screaming fit, I held down my baby, set my jaw, and determined I would get these damn lenses in her eyes. No more monkey business. No having the optometrist rescue both me and the baby from each other.

It was difficult, and I am still not sure how I did it, but I got those lenses in. We had to calm down the poor kid between eyes--she was quite worked up--but I did it.

The role of 'mother' is a strange one: torturer and savior wrapped up into one. *Sigh*

The most amazing thing is that the optometrist said that even two years ago lenses the power that little Story needs were not available. The lenses are available just when she needs them, one of the best pediatric opthamologists was just one express stop away on the subway... I am grateful for the glimpses of the divine in these seeming 'coincidences.'

A time warp to get you up to speed...

2011-06-11T19:56:00.001-07:00

So much has happened in the last 2 months.

I became a mother for the second time to a second beautiful daughter.

I found out my child might be blind when she was four weeks old. Two days later I found out she would not be blind but would need surgery and vision therapy. I held her in my arms for hours and hours in the hospital after double-cataract surgery when she was six-weeks old.

I bought a watch and set an alarm to go off every hour to remind me to put drops into her eyes for nearly three weeks. I held her as we put custom-made contact lenses in her eyes a few days ago, on her nine-week birthday, as she saw for the first time in her life.

It has been amazing to see the difference in her as the vision center in her brain begins to develop and she starts to make sense of the sensory input. I can hardly wait for her new, stronger lenses to arrive so that she can see my face, see me smiling at her, and have her learn how to smile back. My heart skips just to think on it.

It amazes me how even in utero I could tell how different she would be from Lyric, how special she would be... and to watch it unfold already is both beautiful and amazing. To see the deep love Lyric has always shown for her, despite all the boring doctor's visits and unintentional attention stealing... how she loves to kiss her and make up songs about how they love each other... it makes a mother's heart feel physically larger.

We've got a long road ahead of us as far as all this vision stuff is concerned. But we are lucky; her affliction is something that can be worked with and 'fixed' for the most part. Many parents receive much more difficult news to bear. Story Jane is a very special little girl, and I am overwhelmed at how lucky I am to have her as my very own.

It has been a strange, full, emotional month.

2010-09-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

Firstly, we saw our baby and heard his/her heartbeat last Wednesday. It is odd; with DD I “new” so much about her right away: I knew I was pregnant before I was late, I knew she was a girl as soon as that stick had two lines instead of one, I knew she would come early, and I was fairly confidant she would be a lefty. When I went into labor a month early it did not even occur to me to be worried about it--I knew (in the way that a mother has intuition about these things) that I could trust myself and her and it would all be okay.
This time I know nothing. I had none of the early signs I had with DD (that I did not know were early signs at the time). In fact I can still drink coffee and stay up till midnight (with DD both things were impossible). Boy? Girl? DD has been praying for a girl for months, and she only wants a girl, but as for me “knowing”--not at all.
All this to say, hearing the heartbeat, and especially seeing that little sprouted-lima bean who will be my kid, made it all so very *real*. It went from being a knowledge I carried in my head to one that had meandered down to my heart. DD was a fanatic excitement. This one is a comfortable knowledge. I am not excited, I am not sad, I am not much of any extreme in emotion: I just am. Perhaps this comes from *knowing* what I am getting myself into! The amazing over-the-moon things and the terrible suck-y I-just-want-to-quit things.
All this pregnancy stuff has made me crazy tired, crazy spacey, and crazy homesick. Crazy homesick. I’m feeling all nest-y, and nothing about our apartment is nest-inducing. So we tried to look for a new home-base. Ugh. Awful. Tiring, time-consuming, and frustrating. On the up-side, seeing the other nasty dumps we could afford (in not so awesome neighborhoods) made me have a whole new appreciation for where we live. It may look like dusk during a thunderstorm all day long in our current apartment, but at least I don’t think the place will collapse on me, it is not nasty, and the neighborhood we live in seriously cannot be beat. Maybe I will need to get a sun lamp or take up fake-baking for the winter in order to stave off depression. Lots of vitamin D supplements. Daily required walks, no matter how cold. Something.
I miss my sister. One more month until she comes for Thanksgiving. I think I can make it until then.
DD had her first ballet lesson! You should have seen all of us nutty parents! You would think all of our three-year-olds were graduating from medical school! The videos being recorded! The pictures being taken! The dads and moms taking time off of work to see them! It really was absurdly cute, all these little girls in their full ballerina regalia, so excited to begin that they were literally hopping in anticipation. I didn’t know it was a drop-off class, so that was a bummer (we wanted to watch, and DH took off work for the occasion), and I was afraid that DD would have a difficult time *listening* and *following directions.* But from what I could see when I peered through the tiny window into the room (I didn’t have anything better to do; next time I will bring a book or something) they were having a blast and DD was doing quite well for herself. As her auntie says, she has the music in her, and it is true.
We also had a house-guest, which, as always, is wonderful and exhausting. This was especially good for DH as it was his BFF, and his current job schedule leaves little time for meeting new people and building new relationships from scratch. We had a great time but are now left to get our equilibrium back. My writing habit is gone to pot and must be resurrected, along with nap times (so that I can do said writing).
On a sad note, I have received quite a bit of very upsetting news from friends this week. One college friend lost his wife several weeks after the birth of their baby, leaving him to father two tiny babies (one adopted) alone. My heart broke at the news and I have been praying for those three several times per day. Any time I think of one of my babies or my husband I am nearly in tears for him.
Another couple friend of ours just suffered a still-birth. Damn.
I cannot conceive the pain of these losses, and I beg for God’s healing, wisdom, comfort, protection, and love, and love, and grace, and mercy, and comfort.
I know that this kind of pain does not just go away, nor should anyone expect it to. But I do know that it is much better to cry surrounded by strong, loving arms than to cry alone. And that is what I pray for for these families: that they will feel the strong, loving arms around them, and that they will be free to cry.
All this death surrounding birth gives a pregnant lady a lot to ponder.

The Ballad of America

2010-06-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I would do by myself,
but I know that I don't need you anymore--

I killed these dreams all by myself.

I don't know how to live anymore
making dreams open up like a flower.

I abandon them to rot in the ground.

Maybe I will sculpt them out of stone,
then maybe when I'm old I can take them off the shelf.

Will I recognize them anymore?

Just dust them off, polished up, spit-shined.
Then maybe I will do what I was destined for.

I killed these dreams all by myself.

some new lyrics I thought I would share. the music needs finessing, but DH liked this quite a bit.

Snow Falls Softly

2010-02-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

The snow is falling
lovely and light
like millions of mourning doves
preparing to alight
on olive boughs extending
heavenwards
in peace and hope.

The snow falls softly over the City
muffling the hustle and bustle
like the murmur of a mother
speaking words of
love and hope
over her sleeping child.

The snow fills my heart
with magic and wonder
as I sit here, whispering words
of hope and wonder
over my sleeping child,
here at the feet
of the quited City.

picture updates

2010-01-26T18:20:00.000-08:00

Me and my DD @ her friend's bday party

love the face!

Birthday Boy in his DH-made hat and mittens by me

My family at Thanksgiving. (Norwegian sweater by me)

Must... Get... Hemp... Yarn!

2010-01-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

I just found out that yarn made from hemp gets softer with every machine wash/dry, never pills (the sweater I just finished is already pilling! grrr), and requires NO herbicides/pesticides to produce! So it's eco-friendly, easy-care, and the results are beautiful for a lifetime? Sign me up! My thoughtcicles are already melting at all the brainstorming going on....

The smallest people have the biggest parites....

2010-01-24T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the DD's little friend's 2nd birthday party. Only in NYC would I be invited to a birthday party at 10 am on a Sunday! We had a good time though. I really like the little friend's parents and the DD and her little friend get on like peas and carrots, despite the one-year age gap. This party was much more low-key than the last two-year-old New Yorker's birthday party we went to, but not nearly as low-key as the DD's is going to be!

We ended up taking a nice long walk up to Columbia University after, until the DD feel asleep. Got an amazing latte at the first not-Starbuck's I've come across up here.

FINALLY put away the Christmas decorations! The DD could not understand why on earth I would put away Baby Jesus, lol.

The DH is at a pub watching the Vikings game. He has even bought a Favre jersey. Who is this rogue and what has he done with the man I married? I hope they win!

Hot Chocolate, Butterflies, and Boutiques

2010-01-23T21:45:00.000-08:00

Got up early with DD; we were at the park (via scooter) by 8 am! Normally an 'early' day would be 10 or 11, and often I don't leave the apartment until 3 or 4, which is not good when it is nearly dark out at that time!
NYC is a very different place in the morning! All the dogs were out scampering about. It was actually very beautiful; the air was that ultra-clear air that comes when it is very, very cold. We made it all the way to Hippo Park, and DD wanted to, of course, stop and play, but there were no other kids and she got bored. Having her stop moving was a terrible idea; she didn't dress warmly enough (read: she refused to and I needed to get her out of the house--I didn't know it was so cold!) DD started having fits: she wanted me to carry her and her scooter from 90th st (plus I twisted my ankle carrying her, screaming, from the playground to the street), so I carried her--I tried not to but she refused to move and was waking up the whole street--straight to Broadway and we ended up going to Le Pain Quotidian so that she could warm up. I learned my lesson: must continue to bring stroller, no matter how much I don't want to schlep it around, until she can make it to our destination and back consistently. *Sigh*

DH met us at the cafe (with the stroller!) and we had a nice time. Scones, Belgian hot chocolate, and waffles. Mmmmm. I know that place is a local chain, but that ambiance is so nice--almost addicting. I started to fantasizes about getting the same tables...
After nap we went to the Natural History Museum just for the Butterfly exhibit DD has been clamoring for for ages. Last night I told her we could go, she got a confused, excited look on her face and said, "We'd better get going!" When I told her that the Museum was closed and that I meant tomorrow she started to cry, poor kid.
Anyway, the exhibit was amazing! So fun. We went into a special room designed so that the butterflies could not escape and were surrounded by the hot, tropical air and huge, tropical butterflies. It was called a "Vivarium"--I supposed like a terrarium with animals. My personal favorites were the Blue Morphos--absolutely stunning. DD and I both got a kick out of one landing on my head! She was more interested on spraying water on everything for the butterflies to drink, silly kid.
We got hot dogs (so gross, so yummy) and went to Central Park after the museum closed. It was twilight, but still we went across the street to the Diana Ross playground, the first place I ever took DD, when we came to NYC that first time for DH's interview. We spent most of two days there. Ah, memories.
DH and I have such a good time just walking around the city together. I could do it everyday. We went past a boutique that DD refused to move on from. The lady in the boutique ended up opening the door for her and giving her a necklace. Sheesh. That kid is too cute for her own good. We ended up spending quite a bit of time there. She was having a ball making everyone there fancy--me, daddy, the two ladies working the floor. She has interesting tastes, but is amazingly good at co-ordinating. Perhaps she will be the host of a show like What Not to Wear someday?

2010, Resistance, and resolutions

2010-01-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

2010 Came in with a bang at our place! Not really. We "celebrated" by watching three episodes of LOST while knitting (yes, DH was knitting, too--a cowl for me! Yay!) and enjoying some really good wine. THEN we got to really celebrate by changing the linens on our bed where the DD, who was completely wrecked by the excitement of the last two days, had a bit of an accident. Very unlike her, but most kids her age are still in diapers, so I really can't complain.

We had a wonderful Christmakah miracle here! We were gearing up to have our first Christmas without friends and family. I was trying not to let it get to me, look at it as the beginning of our family's own traditions rather than on being far away from everyone we love. The Wednesday morning before Christmas I got a call from my sister. She was stranded at Chicago O'Hare. No planes to MSP due to weather. Could she try to get her tickets transfered to NYC? Duh! She was in building being knocked over by her very excited nice by 2 pm. We loved having her for four short days!

My sister, the DH and I had a really great discussion during her visit about our goals for 2010. Many of my goals have to do with this great book I just read called "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. I highly recommend it. It is the type of book that came at just the right time, creating a perfect storm and, I think, changing my life. Creating a shokabuku of sorts (I'm not going to even try to spell that). 2010 is the year that I will be conscious of, and fight, Resistance. I've already started to write again. I feel like a new person. I'm doing my 'work.' Even if it doesn't matter to anyone but me (and God), it matters to me (and my relationship with God and others). Therefore it is paramount.

I get so frustrated with the mundane in life. I am an ENFP and suspect I've got a little ADD thrown into the mix. All this to say, I'm not one for repetitious tasks, or the mundane. I'd rather die. Any time I am doing the daily same-old same-old I can't shake the feeling that I am watching my life waste away before my very eyes. But when I get my work done (understand, I mean the work I was made to do, not the myriad things on my to-do list), it makes me feel like the whole day was worth living, dishes and all. The tedious becomes less tiresome.

I want to be more deliberate. More deliberate in my 'work'--my art. More deliberate in my marriage--not letting things slide, letting inertia take over. Making sure to 'date' my DH, even when there is little time or money--picnics in the living room, whatever it takes. More deliberate in my relationship with the Monkey. She is exhausting, and she is wonderful. I can't afford to miss it. I can't afford to miss any of it. Here is to embracing and seizing. And Grace. Always, always, Grace.

Much love and peace to you in 2010. I have a feeling it's going to rock.

Usually the New Year seems arbitrary to me, but this year is different.

This was my day. TGIF

2009-12-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

DD finally named the doll that a dear friend of mine made for her before she was born. I've been waiting for some time for this naming to take place. First I waited for her to show any interest in the doll at all--it is a beautiful Waldorf doll, made with much love and skill. Then I waited for her to begin naming toys at all. We have dolls and stuffed animals named Baby, Heavy Baby, Yellow Kitty, Girl--you get the idea. The other day we were at the park, and DD heard a mom call to her daughter, Eva, and she looked at me and said, "I like that name!" So today, day three of our confinement (I have not left the apartment except to bring her to the doctor yesterday, in three days), and we were playing playdough at her little table, and she brought "Girl" over to play with us, and I asked her what her name was. I suggested Eva, and her eyes lit up, yes, she loved that idea, and I don't know why, but her naming her doll made my heart get bigger. She then named another baby "Macy" for her best friend. Two names in one day. :)
We spent quite a while making Christmas ornaments. Well I made them and DD made a big mess, lol. The tree is only about a foot-and-a-half tall, so the decorations had to be small and light. I ended up crocheting three birds, a gold garland, and gold star for the top. It actually looks pretty cute. So I'm trying to decide if the birds are the Three French Hens, or if I need to make another so we have Four Calling Birds.
As I mentioned, we've been in the house--nay, three room apartment--for three days straight as DD has strep throat and we don't want to spread the love around. I was hoping to just take a walk today, even for a new minutes, but DD refused, refused, REFUSED to put on pants. I'm talking that I would have had to bodily harm her to get pants on. I'm sure the neighbors thought I was skinning a pig. I wanted to get out so badly, but the wind chill was about 6*F, so I just threw up my hands and we watched female singers and guitar players on YouTube. I'm not trying to brainwash her ;)

Thanksgiving!

2009-11-30T12:17:00.001-08:00

My family came to see our new diggs, flying in from MN and NC. I think they liked it. We had a great time together, even though we were jammed into our little apartment like sardines. The real question is how we can convince my sister to move here, too.

I love New York in the Fall

2009-11-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

The opening scene of "You've Got Mail" has to do with 'don't you love New York in the fall?' I've always wondered about that. I must say I concur. I totally and completely love New York in the fall.

Sorry it's been so long since the last post. We've really been in survival mode around here. We got the apartment to where we can function and just started, well, functioning. L and I spend most of the day at the park--I figure we'd best get outside as much as we can before the cold sets in. The word on the street is that this part of town is very windy, the icy wind coming in off of the Hudson, which is right next to the park. Perhaps Central Park will be less windy/cold? I'm not sure. What I'm trying to say is this: I would rather have L running around making friends (and me making friends) than organizing/cleaning. There will be plenty of time for indoor activity once the snow flies, and less opportunity for meeting people for mommy/play dates. My parents and sister are coming to stay with us for Thanksgiving, so my goal is to have this place dressed to impress by then. Hopefully things will be nice; we've decided to splurge just a bit to make it homey and livable--after getting three houses nice just in time to move out (and not enjoy) we decided that was lame and to try to enjoy things right away. New curtains, some IKEA storage pieces, new beds for us and L, etc. Our new bed is crazy--the box spring is a storage unit--pretty much our "attic" now, and makes our bed waist-height, L can't get onto or off of by herself. Fortunately the room is just big enough to handle it--the 9.5' ceilings help.

Halloween was fun; we spent it with some new friends whose little girl L adores. They just happen to be from MN--you know, good people ;-) L was less into dressing up for Halloween than I thought she would be, though she pretty much is a Fashion Monkey every day. She wore a tutu, but she'd been wearing that tutu for four days in a row, so, you know, it was the Four Days of Halloween here. Her little friend lent her a Fancy Nancy Hat, so I suppose she was Fancy Nancy. She was fancy.
The day started with a costume parade to Hippo Park led by some bagpipe players, ending with cider and dough nuts and slides. The a party at the friend's building. Apparently their building has 21 small children in it--we were the only non-building attendees. Having a close knit community is one advantage to buying in NYC, despite the closing costs that are the same price as some small homes.

Speaking of homes, we quickly and virtually painlessly unloaded our house in NC (though we did put the $$$ in) THANK GOD. One down, one to go. No buying in NYC for the time being. That is A-OK with us, thought the thought is tantalizing.

Today was AMAZING out. Warm and sunny, and we spent most of it in Madison and Central Parks. I even got a little poetry/lyric writing in, which makes the whole day feel worth living, and my various and sundry knitting projects are coming along swimmingly, I'll have to post some pics as soon as I get my act together.

with much love,
me

A slice of the life...

2009-09-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

The Whys and Wherefores of Our Move to NYC

2009-09-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

Here's the Cliff's Notes version:

In March of 2008 C' company, Destineer Studios/Atomic Games moved us out to Raleigh, NC, because development of the game Six Days in Fallujah was moved out there. After the game was announced, the subject matter caused much controversy, and the game's publisher (Konami) pulled out. After 4 months, Atomic pretty much let everyone go and shut down production. Fortunately the same day that C found out he was out of a job, he also found out that he had an offer from THQ / KAOS Studios in Manhattan! We had taken a family trip to NYC for C's interview, and we liked it, so we were jazzed that he got the job (and that he had a job at all!).

We've been in NYC for two weeks now, and have had all of our stereotypes of New Yorkers blown away. People have been, for the most part, friendly, helpful, and welcoming. We signed the lease on an apartment a few days ago, and are pleased to be calling the Upper West Side (think "You've Got Mail") home. Our new place is just steps from wonderful Riverside Park. We'd love to hear from you and tell you all about it :-)

L is doing great; she's nearly 2.5, talking up a storm, and charming everyone we meet--she's very popular on the subway and often requests to ride the train or "see New York."

We found a new and loving home for our two dogs, Bailey and Elisa. We were very sad to say good-bye, but their new home and family is fantastic-they'll hardly miss us. In fact, when we went to say good-bye they seemed scared to leave their new home and come with us.

I'm at home with L, and looking forward to taking advantage of all of the literary opportunities that the City has to offer. In fact I've already been to a Young Adult book reading of seven authors--you know, market research!

2009-09-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

80* & Sun

I think I'm in love. With New York in the Fall.

Today was a fantastic day. First of I went to the Gap on 86th & Broadway to get the hat I saw there on clearance, and it is a good thing I did as I ended up walking from 86th st to 26th st (THAT IS 60 BLOCKS, PEOPLE!!!), not to mention back-tracking several avenues, and then back to the apartment on 32nd and to the park later in the day. Definitely go my exercise in today! i Even did that long walk on purpose, though I don't know that I will ever make that choice again!

L and I went to the park on Riverside and 83rd, spending quite a bit of time there. My heart was so full of gratefulness and contentment. The sun, the lovely weather, watching L playing happily—it all seemed so fantastic. On the way back we stopped by the marina to look at the boats. L kept insisting that we see the boats, and I kept insisting that we were looking at them. I think the poor dear wanted to ride on them, which would be nice; we'll just have to make some rich friends.

I decided to walk to the 59th st station, but by the time I'd gotten that far L had fallen asleep, so I just kept going. Somewhere along 40th and 5th ave Carlos called and asked me to meet him at work (27th and 7th ave), and I reluctantly agreed. I was having a hard time keeping the sleeping L out of the sun. Eventually we did meet C and I got some much-needed food, which helped with my increasing grumpiness greatly.

After coming “home” to freshen up and catch a small nap, we went to Madison Park until C met us there after work. L is such a monkey!! People are so impressed with her climbing abilities, and other moms are impressed that I don't have a heart attack while watching her, or even that I “let” her do it at all. Honestly, I don't know how so many parents can take over-protective to such extremes. I'm all for taking care of your kids, but if you never let them do anything they will go ape-nuts on you eventually.

After C arrived at the park he got a phone call from our realtor in NC—some people offered a bid for our house, we countered the offer, and they accepted!!! We close on October 30. So, barring something going haywire, OUR HOUSE IS SOLD and we break even! PRAISE THE LORD OH MY SOUL!!!

Everything is falling into place. Life is beautiful. I want to add to the beauty and spread it around. And right now, I want to go to bed!

We Did It! We've Got an Apartment!

2009-09-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

65* and rain all day

Well! We signed for the apartment today! Our new home as of October 1 will be across the street from Riverside Park! Yay! Just like "You've Got Mail"....

To get to the signing L and I had to take 3 trains and walk in the rain. I had an umbrella, but it was broken (so was the other one for C—here I pack two umbrellas, thinking I am awesome, and both are bunk!).

After we had a celebratory lunch at a cute—and very tasty—French restaurant on Broadway. Good food, good people-watching, good ambiance: I hope we will go there for more celebrations in the future.

After C went back to work and L and I went to the apartment so that I could measure everything. I am so glad that I did; I think that I might have a chance at having a dishwasher! There is an 18 5/8” gap in the kitchen, and they make 18” dishwashers... there is hope!

I also think that we're going to have to go with lace curtains... It wouldn't be my fist choice, but I don't mind, and the apartment's style is so old-school, I can't imagine anything else.

C is so very relieved about having a place to live--he might even be back to his old self soon; I'm sure if we sold the NC house he would be there within 24 hours. I don't know if I am there yet; I had a hard time sleeping last night and kept waking up thinking about how I was going to decorate—-if I could afford it; how to make the most of the space, etc. I don't know if I will be settled until we are actually...settled. Then, after establishing a home, there is establishing a life. * Sigh *

L and I spent the rest of the day (we got home at 4) just chilling. Sitting out the rain, snuggling and watching Finding Nemo...again.

After 8+ hours and 15 apts, Home Sweet Home??

2009-09-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

After eight-and-a-half hours of walking all over the Upper West Side and looking at 15 different apartments with seven different people, we put an offer on a little apartment on 98th right off of Riverside Dr. It wasn't the biggest, it wasn't the fanciest or the “nicest,” the sunniest, or the most likely to be chosen by anyone else, but I do think it is the most “us,” despite the tiny kitchen, and the shabbiness. I couldn't understand the attraction the place held on me (or Carlos for that matter). He put his finger on it only after we got home—the place has a European vibe—reminding us of the apartment we stayed in in France.

French doors, high ceilings (very high ceilings), the huge gray marble foyer, the old-world styling of the rooms (corners rounded off near the ceiling)--it just has an attraction. The kitchen is absurd and I am afraid of regretting it later, but I am hoping that a rolling island will help that be more tolerable. I am also hoping that I can make the bedroom walk-thru to the toilet more private for our bedroom, I think that the living room area will be charming and the office/library/L's room will be cute as well. It is in the back of the building on the first floor so it should be quiet but have low light. It is on the first floor, which is great with a baby and stroller, etc. I hope that if we like it and do well there that they will let us know if something bigger becomes available (especially if our family expands). The walls and floor/ceilings are thick and the piano should not be a problem. In fact, there is a piano teacher above us—maybe C can finally take lessons! A woman from the building told me that she loves it there, that it is like a vertical neighborhood. I hope so!

I am only feeling a bit torn about Riverside Park vs. Central Park. We'd been looking near CPW for so long, hoping for it so much. We even could have been the neighbor to some people L & I met at a CP playground last week. L got on great with their son, and it would be cool to be neighbors with these cool people but... but I don't know. That apartment is $500 more per month! That is a lot of gluten-free doughnuts!

If nothing else, it should be a quiet, nice place to meet other kids and parents.

If nothing else, it should be and adventure.

Life, Aquariums, and Parenting

2009-09-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

I am afraid that L has heard the 'F' word more times in the last week than I did until High School. I wouldn't be surprised if she just says it one of these days, completely innocently, and then I won't know what to do. People's obliviousness to those around them, especially those little ones around them, is astounding (Here I am, the pot calling the kettle black, I am sure, but still!). You could not pay me to be 15 or 16 again. Though I would hopefully use my time more wisely than I did previously....

We went out to the Aquarium at Coney Island/Brighton Beach relatively early today. L has been so obsessed with Finding Nemo that it was not very hard to convince her to take the long train ride to go and see Nemo and Dorey in the flesh. We had a great time; the weather was very mild which added to the ejoyment.

We enjoyed the reef, the sea lion show, the walrus, the sea horses, and, of course, the tank containing the Dorey and Nemo look-a-likes. Jelly fish and eels still creep me out. Sharks and manta rays are still cool.

After, we enjoyed a walk on the boardwalk while L napped. The beach looked inviting though chilly, and I was surprised by how much the surrounding neighborhood seemed to be a big dump.

On the way out, after we'd transferred and been on the train for a while, C told me that we were passing through the area that one of the Brokers wanted us to look in. We were on the el, and I could see that this place was 1) a dump, and 2)way too far out--we'd been on the train a while. What is it with these brokers??? Honestly. Totally not listening.

On the parenting side of things, I love my L, she is great, she is beautiful, she is startlingly smart (yesterday she told us, “the problem is dada...,” [only she pronounced it 'ploblem'] when we were telling her to do something she didn't want to; and she amazes me with what she remembers and the fanciful stories she makes up, not to mention her climbing ability is that of an older child). But she's on the edge, and so am I, and we push each other nearly over from time to time.

The Apartment Hunt Begins

2009-08-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well paint me pink and call me Susie! My husband is drinking beer and watching football. Apparently all that it took for him to find his inner “Curran” was Bret Farve donning a Vikings jersey. Who knew?

After a gluten-free beer and several pointless Facebook quizzes, I think I am ready to begin processing. Tiger started his new job today, and in my own way, I suppose I did, too. Stay-at-home momming it in NYC is going to be a very different animal than SAHMing in NC, or even MN 'burbs, for that matter.

We are currently in a furnished apartment until we find a closet, I mean, apartment, of our very own.

The first order of business today was to go grocery shopping and get as much as I could fit into the stroller--or had cash for--whichever came first. The whole thing from start to finish (door to door) was about an hour-and-a-half. Not too bad considering most of that was just getting there and back. I went to Whole Foods as I knew they would have some of the specialty items I would need and—let's be honest—I have had enough new lately that I wanted some familiarity. In my own defense NYC Whole Foods and Cary Whole Foods are different experiences, anyway.

After lunch and a nap, L and I hopped on the subway to meet our apartment broker. Things can only go up from here, kids. After viewing three apartments (all of which would make my mother cry) and two hours (additional to this morning) of walking, along with thoughts along the lines of “Holy Hannah, we are living in New York City!” I was having a hard time keeping things together.

When we got back to our temporary apartment (which is soooo much nicer than the ones I had just visited, it hurts to think about it), I tried to implement some culinary-therapy by making DH (Darling Husband)'s favorite, French toast. I set the smoke detector off. Twice. L was hysterical. The poor kid was so overwhelmed and overstimulated (as was I), and had spent the whole day in a stroller, not interacting with me or others, the smoke detector was just too much to handle. By the time DH came home L and I were both on the couch, catatonic, watching Finding Nemo.

Dinner was nice, and having DH back in our midst brought some sense of equilibrium. But, man, did I want a beer! And, as I cannot just have just any beer (gluten!), we made another trek to Whole Foods, this time bringing our Equilibrium along with us, which helped, at least a little. L, who needed a chocolate milk while we were at Whole Foods, somehow sprayed or flung or squirted the pants of the man whom we were behind in the check-out line. I realized just as he walked away. Sorry, guy! That seemed to be the perfect top off to the day. Fortunately things began to look up...

On the way home we stopped to see if one of our NYC acquaintances (an employee from the Ace Hotel whom we hit it off with when we were here for the interview) was working. She was! And she was so pleased to see us! Perhaps we will have a play-date soon.

So! that was a faithful account of my second day as a New Yorker. Tomorrow looks to be a lovely day. I hope Little L won't rebel as I drag her on more apartment visits!

Good bye, one thing at at time...

2009-08-26T13:10:00.000-07:00

We've said good-bye to the dogs. Good bye-to the car, the amp, some friends, and tonight our church family.

The dogs were easier to say good-bye to than I thought they would be, but only because we went and saw them with their new family--seeing them so happy and so loved made things much, much easier. In fact, Bailey looked like a whole different dog--her hair (yes, she has hair rather than fur) went from charcoal to black in two weeks! I think Bailey and Elisa were afraid we were going to take them back with us!

I know they are just dogs, but they were special to me in the way only pre-kid dogs are (in a sane, I-don't-dress-them-up kind of way). Their new forever family is, quite literally, an answer to prayer.

The Jetta was hard to get rid of, too. What is it with Americans and their cars? I loved it in that this-is-my-first-not-crappy-car kind of way. The amp went to a guy who will use it to teach kids, so that is cool. Everything else seems to be getting a good home, too, which is comforting.

Leaving people one cares about is never fun or comforting, but it is so nice to have people who make it hard to leave, if that makes sense.

Now it's Official

2009-08-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

Tiger has bought our plane tickets and Lily and I are leaving with him on the 30th, 8 a.m.

This makes me want to eat a lot of ice cream and take a nap. Wake me up when we're in Manhattan.

The dogs are gone, which is both weird, sad, and a relief. The first thing that Lily did when we got home from our 3-week trip to Minnesota (around dinner time) was to run over to her little table and chair in the breakfast nook, her body language saying, Whew! This is mine--just my size. Then she called out cheerily, "Bailey, Elisa, where are you?" This both warmed and broke my heart. I told her, "They're not here, honey." Her guess as to their whereabouts was the grocery store. I chuckled and left it at that.

The real job now is to decide what to get rid of, what to sell, what to give away, what to (hopefully, if they agree) ship to mom and dad's, and what to leave for the movers to pack up and send to a storage unit in New Jersey until we find an apartment. My stomach just leapt up into my throat at that sentence. OhGodohGodohGod. We're doing it; we're leaving: we're moving.

The realtor came today and made me realize just how shabby our house is; how ugly and terrible our furniture is; how little I relish deep-cleaning or yard-work, and how cash-poor we are for things like new carpeting, yard guys, and the simple and general face-lift things this place needs like a coat of paint. I have a feeling that this place will sell, though. I hope I am right.

I know it is immature and tacky, but I don't want most of the neighbors to find out until we are gone and the For Sale sign is up. I hate good-byes, especially among the people whom I don't actually know or remember their names.

I spent most of the day with Amber and the kids. My heart sank to realize that they will be leaving for the beach on Sunday and will get back the day we leave. We have a dinner planned for Friday night. This will be our good-bye. I suppose it is best to get all the good-byes knocked-out one-by-one.

Amber told her four-year-old daughter, Lily's self-proclaimed Best Friend, that we were moving away and she wouldn't be able to play with Lily anymore. She asked her daughter if this made her sad. Her daughter said that it did make her sad, but maybe another family would move in who had children she could be friends with. I am glad of this. I will pray for that, just for her.